Proverb / Kotowaza
石に布団は着せられず
You cannot care for those who have already passed away, so you should show filial piety to your parents while they are still alive.
You cannot put a futon on a stone
Quick Answer
You cannot care for those who have already passed away, so you should show filial piety to your parents while they are still alive.
- Literal Image
- You cannot put a futon on a stone
- Closest Equivalent
- Honor your parents while they are alive
- How to Use It
- Used to advise others to treat their parents well while they have the chance, or to express deep regret for not being more filial before a parent passed away.
Meaning
No matter how much you wish to look after or provide for someone after they have died, it is impossible to do so. This proverb teaches the importance of fulfilling your duties and showing kindness to your parents while they are living, as efforts made after their death are futile.
Literal Image
You cannot put a futon on a stone
Equivalent Proverbs
Honor your parents while they are alive
Shares the same moral advice but lacks the specific Japanese imagery of the futon and stone.
How to Use It
Used to advise others to treat their parents well while they have the chance, or to express deep regret for not being more filial before a parent passed away.
Tone
Advisory and somber, with a moralizing nuance.
Examples
父が亡くなってから親孝行をしようと思っても、石に布団は着せられずだ。生前に何もできなかったことが悔やまれる。
Even if I think about showing filial piety now that my father has passed, you cannot put a futon on a stone. I regret that I did nothing for him while he was alive.
Learning Notes
Key Vocabulary
Contains the classical 'rarezu' ending (potential negative) and the specific metaphors of 'ishi' representing the deceased.
石
いし / ishi
stone (symbolizing the deceased)
布団
ふとん / futon
futon/bedding
着せる
きせる / kiseru
to put (clothes/cover) on someone
られず
られず / rarezu
cannot (classical potential negative)
Usage Profile
Usage note: This expression carries a heavy tone of regret or moral instruction; use it with care when speaking to someone who has recently lost a parent.
Misread Risk
Do not interpret this as a literal instruction about tombstones; the stone represents the deceased parent who can no longer feel warmth or care.
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Related Proverbs
Origin
In this proverb, the 'stone' (ishi) represents the dead, characterized by being cold and unmoving like a gravestone. It illustrates the futility of trying to provide comfort or care, such as putting a futon on a cold stone, once a person has passed away. It serves as an exhortation to practice filial piety and devotion while parents are still living.
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